


Degeneration

by vosien



Series: We see the Red Thread [3]
Category: South Park
Genre: Chinese Mythology & Folklore, F/M, Lunar Matchmaking, M/M, Somewhat, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 16:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13551090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vosien/pseuds/vosien
Summary: “Go on, and sort out your friend’s love lives.” Or how Kevin translated the following; "Fuck up your classmates lives.”Alternative: In which Red thinks Tweek and Craig would make a good pair, and Kevin regrets everything.





	1. Chapter 1

“Honey.”

“ _Ngh_ \-  yeah?”

“I’m feeling horny, wanna suck my dick?”

Kevin Stoley would like to perceive oneself as a relatively lax person. Why yes, a complete dork, whom obsession for collecting light sabers and cosplaying Spock every Halloween is a given among all else. At the very least, the half asian adolescence is one to cater those within his household. However when the infamous ever so gay sweethearts sat on opposite ends on his bed, with the candid being of the two divulge words of vulgar demands. Kevin pulled a Stan, as a hand clamped the lower half of his face and proceed to stand up as if his life demands it.

Before Tweek could even heed to his boyfriend’s request, let alone part his lips, the third person in the room the felt the urge to speak up first.

“Okay hold up! Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Kevin gasped, both hands in the air as if to wave a white flag. “I know we still have another fifteen minutes before Clyde and Red show up for D&D. But- uh, can you guys not blow each others dicks on my bed, or anywhere in my house for that matter.”

His concern was meant with a fleeting moment of silences. Eventually Tweek jerked his head to the side, and Craig cast a yawn - leaving Kevin with a forced, yet uneasy smile - as he clasped his hands together, followed by a plea. “Um, please?”

“This is Kevin’s room.” Tweek stated the obvious, with a shrug, and Craig resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

“I know, but I don’t want to go home, and come back for D&D.” The noirette cast his stale green eyes towards the game master, and huffed. “Sorry Kevin but there are three people in the house, two whom are in a relationship with needs. So grow a pair of balls, be a bro and fuck off.”

“But this is my room?!” Kevin resorted in a bluffed manner, now readily madden by the situation at hand.

Tweek seem unfazed by the outburst, despite his riddle of anxiety. It seems like the blond haired is unfazed by Craig’s sudden needs. Was it because both his parents are current in Hong Kong till the end of the month, and the current house owner - namely Kevin - is now informed of their salacious misadventures?

“We won’t -  _urgh_ \- make a mess.” Tweek assured the bluffed black haired, with an apologetic smile.

“What Tweek said.” Craig said, and with both feet on the ground, he began to push Kevin towards the door.

“But why my room?! Can't you hold it till - I don't know?” Kevin exasperated, "In the comfort of your own bedrooms?" His eyebrows stewed in a downward cast, as he stride his way out of his room.

“Also, make a mess on my bed sheets, and you owe me new ones.” With that being said, Craig shut the door behind him, and Kevin took out his cell phone out of irritation, his fingers typing away.

 

> _**Kevin Stoley** **:**   This is all your fault. Craig and Tweek are sucking off one another in my room._  – sent at 17:51 / seen

 

He pocketed his cell phone. Unaware a reply came forth within a matter of seconds. 

 

> _**My Alien Quee** **n:**   ;)_ \- sent at 17:51 / unread

 

* * *

 

Degeneration

Or

The Red Thread of Fate

Or

Kevin and Red Plays Matchmaker

Or

Kevin fucks up his Classmate's Lives especially Tweek's and Craig's

 

_Pick Your Poison_

 

* * *

 

 When Kevin Stoley was eight years old, he was given a pair of golden scissors and a twine of red thread, along with the following instructions.

_“Go on, and sort out your friend’s love lives.”_

Or how Kevin translated the following; _"Fuck up your classmates lives.”_

Well something in Chinese. 

Since he could remember, the half asian boy possess the ability to see the red thread of fate. Of course, with time, it had undergone several name changes, from the marriage thread. The soulmate thread, and so forth. Kevin simply calls it the thread, other times a nuisance. Especially since his childhood was filled with the red like hue. Followed by scarlet, rubies, crimson blood, and maroon. Eventually his eyes would train themselves to become familiar with the RGB colours. His ability enable him to pinpoint the different shades of red. While teachers grew concern the child may be colour blind.

Of course, that wasn’t the case.

Nevertheless, Kevin assorited the warm primary like colour as a bundle of mess. As he watched hundreds of strings lie helplessly on the ground, while a couple would sore through the skies. Some tangled, others clumped into a ball. Few would move to connect with their suppose chosen one. It was a reminder this was his destiny, or at least his mother continued to remind him until her final breath.

 

* * *

 

Rebecca 'Red' Tucker was only nine years old, when she discovered the Star Trek overload was involved with her fate.

“So... you’re like some kind of love guru?” Red asked, whiles adjusting oneself onto her sit. It was just the two of them, on a Wednesday afternoon. The two would get together and trade lunch with one another. Usually it was an assortment of fruits.

There was no handwritten law in which dismiss the notion of revealing mere mortals of one’s matchmaking abilities. In fact, Kevin had told Red his suppose abilities long before his received his golden scissors and red thread. At first, Red didn’t believed him, and demanded proof. In which the noriette provided within a matter of hours when he pointed out two fellow upper grade students were bounded by a thread. The following week, they were a couple, and Red shifted her gaze in disgust, followed by an arrangement from one question to another.

“Not really.” Kevin admitted, opening up his container of jasmine rice with mapo tofu on top. Last night’s dinner. “The correct term would be a lunar matchmaker.”

A scoffed could be heard, but Red presumed her line of questions, “Hooked anyone yet?” Followed by a bite of the apple, while Kevin gingerly took a scoop of rice and allow it float midair.

“One… for now.” He then shoved his spoon into his mouth, and chewed onto the content, as his chocolate gaze wander through the cafeteria. “Wendy and Stan.”

From there Red’s eye widen, and turned her where her gaze linger over the purple clad girl whom was busy talking to Jenny and Bebe, before turning her attention back to Kevin with a grin. “Oh my gosh! Really? Stan and Wendy?”

Kevin shrugged, “Everyone knows that Stanley Marsh has a crush on Wendy Testaburger. Plus she’s a reasonable person at times - a bit over the top - but he’s a nice lad and is prone to hardship.” At this he took a pause, and shrugged his shoulders once more. “So why not?”

“So, do they, uh - fall in love overtime?” Red’s voice heighten with glee, her inquisitive nature bloomed three folds, and Kevin felt a rapture of butterflies take flight from within.

“While it’s call the thread of fate, the thread only pulls the two closer. Somewhat forcing them to interact. Other than that, it doesn’t do the whole “destiny” thing. Well, there are some cases, but it’s rare. Especially in this day and age.”

"So it's possible that the pair are not meant to be?" Kevin simply nodded, while Red’s eyes narrowed. “What if they’re not happy with one another? Or don’t feel anything?”

“The thread breaks off in due time, and hope that another lunar matchmaker will provide them a new thread. Howeve, cases like these are rare, but not impossible. Plus I would prefer if Stan and Wendy’s thread didn’t pull apart. At least for the next couple of years. Wendy is an easy fix-” He gave into pause, as his eyes dart to Token, followed by Bebe. “-but Stan would be difficult to pair.”

“Because Stan's an emotional bitch?” Red jested about.

At this Kevin smiled, “Somewhat, but even so, I don’t foresee Stan being lonely in the near future.”

The red haired simply laughed, before her lips pursed into a thin line, and the final question draws out under hushed whispers.

“What about me?”

Kevin paused, his spoon in mid air, with widen eyes. His chocolate gaze clash against one’s crimson’s hues, as he lowered his spoon followed by the manifestation of his heated cheeks and shuttered works.

“I- uh. Well, I mean. Um, you see-”

“I mean, no pressure, of course we’re still young.” Red cuts him off once again before a set of giggles followed suit, her silky red hair framed her face perfectly.

Kevin could stare back with awe, before he place his head down in shame. 

 

* * *

 

A week later, Red asked if she could suggest a pair. 

Only to receive another nod from the matchmakers, much to the red haired's delight. 

 

* * *

 

“How about Tweek and Craig?”

“What about them?”

“Hook them up.”

Kevin blinked out of bemusement and set the controller down with the game on pause, as he turned his attention towards the red haired who sat on his bed, with a book on hand.

“Unless, your thread has the inability to hook up same sex people together?”

“Gender is not the problem, but why Tweek and Craig?”

Red closed the book shut, and tilted her head towards the side, as if deep in thought. “Well, y’know how my cousin is a dick?”

“A bully you mean?”

“Basically a dick nevertheless?”

At this, Kevin simply sighed, and Red took that notion to continue. “I feel like if Tweek got together with Craig. Tweek can set him straight.”

“Uh, how?” Kevin asked, an eyebrow raised. “I mean, I’m not sure if you've notice but Tweek is not the most approachable person. He slams his head on the desk, obsess with caffeine, thus resulting oneself in a constant state of anxiety and jitteriness. Have I mention he can probably punch someone right in the face if not given a cup of joe… or his anxiety goes haywire.”

“Wow. Have you considered being a doctor in the future, or is that future all set and stones for you, being  - y’know - half chinese and all.” Red mocked, with a smirk.

Kevin rolled his eyes, as he mouthed a vile, “Fuck off Red.” Then picked up his controller, and resumed his gaming.

“But yes- what you said is true." Red said. "However if there is one thing my cousin loves is people who can fight. And-”

“And no. We’re not getting those two into a fight. It’s bad enough Kyle and Cartman are at each other’s throat every other day. And if it’s not that, then the town goes into some kind of mayhem, and I miss out on an episode of Star Wars.”  

“Well it’s not like you have made other attempts to attach anyone else no?”

Kevin was about to explain his recent claim on Kenny with several female students. However, whenever Kevin attach his thread elsewhere, the next day the thread disappears. It has happened several times, much to the matchmaker’s dismay.

“Still.”

“Beside, when did you stop enjoying a good fight?”

“When have you enjoyed a good fight?” Kevin counted back, and Red gave him the bird.

“Touche. But seriously, I think Tweek will do wonders on Craig.” Kevin was about to protest once more, but Red cut him off with a single notion of a finger and a flip of her hair, rendering the half asian child silent. “Like you said, if they are not happy with one another, the thread will break off eventually. Or we can speed up the process, with the scissors, no?”

"I still don't understand how Tweek is a suitable choice for Craig." 

At this, Red's crimson eyes soften, as she whispered the following.

"Trust me on this."

Kevin jolted the controller to the side, only to meet with a game over on his screen. He gave a cursed, and with a huff, turned his face towards the sole female student in his bedroom. Peering his gaze onto her, as if she was hiding something. Red heed his attention with eager eyes, and placid lips. A fleeting moment of silences befall the two, neither unable to turn their heads elsewhere. As if their gaze were lock on one another. 

“Well, they have nothing to lose anyways.” Kevin muttered to himself, breaking the contact first. The weight of the thread felt heavy in his back pocket, his face flustered. He reclaimed his role as South Park's sole lunar matchmaker. "Do you think Craig is at home?" 

He would soon come to regret it, several years into the near future. Especially when Kevin is found in his kitchen, with a bottle of vodka in hand, and a sandwich on the other. Well aware of the lovebirds endeavours in his bedroom. A once sacred space, reversed for himself and his girlfriend Red, now ruined by a pair of horny teens. 


	2. Chapter 2

“For a dork. Kevin has nice bedsheets.”

“They’re linen.”

Of course. Leave it to his boyfriend to tell the differences from one piece of fabric, to another, Craig though with a clicked his tongue, and nuzzle his nose into his boyfriend’s neck. He felt the latter’s shoulder loosen and tension ease up, a clear sign to continue, as he trail his kisses travelled down while as his hands found home under his lover’s shirt.

“You’re still pissed off?” The blond haired asked, his tone soft, but audible enough for the noirette.

Craig sighed, but only respond with another peck, as he took his shirt out of frustration. Eager to get the show on the road.

“Don’t kill the mood babe.”

However Tweek ignored the noirette's comment and pressed on, his sapphire eyes has yet to wavier.

“If it’s not for him, we wouldn’t be here.”

Of course that was a given, however the taller male beg to differ. Callous fingers tapped under Tweek’s cheek, and brought his face forth as he silenced his boyfriend with his lips with a growl. Their mouths parted in haste, followed by a dance only familiar between the childhood sweethearts, when Tweek probe his tongue, and Craig greeted the contact with a grunt. Movement shifted between the two, however neither could move to the next base, when Craig detach himself from the kiss and place their forehead together.

“If it’s not for him, we would have nearly killed one another all those years ago.”

 

* * *

 

兵不厌诈

 

Nothing is too deceitful in war

  

* * *

 

Craig Tucker was only nine years old, when he was approached by Eric Cartman in shop class. His hands were clasped together, his stances, expose an air of vulnerability. Enough to fool fellow adults of one’s false innocences. Craig - however - frowned upon his approached and provide his signature motion of the middle finger.

A sign to fuck off.

A sign of one’s disinterests.

A sign to stay clear.  

Many, if all of the third grade students are aware of Cartman’s uncanny talent to befall mayhem and havoc in his path. However it didn’t stop the spoiled brat from playing witness, his voice feigned innocence and informed the troublemaker that Tweek Tweak called him a ‘big poop-eater.’

“He did?” The noirette query, an eyebrow raised. Turning his attention towards the suppose wild child in the classroom, who seemly was also approached by no other than Kyle and Stan.

Coincidence? He thinks not.

“Yeah. He said you eat poop, and that it makes your breath smell like poop, and that, eh, well, you like it.” Was Cartman’s reply, and Craig didn’t buy it. Well, not yet anyways. As he provided another question from his own, in which projected another answer from the latter and much to the other’s delight, provoked the inquisitive child in the process. Chair pushed back, followed by a screeching noise. Craig did what he does when left in a pique, hands ready to roll up his sleeves, and proceed to give the twitchy blond a good beating.

“Well, I've gotta go over there and-”

However he was abruptly cut off by no other than Cartman, whom blocked him off. “No, no! Craig, you can't fight him here; Mr. Adler would just break it up. Tell you what: I'll go tell him you accept his challenge, and set it up for after school today.”

Craig turned his attention towards the larger boy, vexation mask his default placid expression, and muttered a single “Okay.” Ending all pending conversation with a single bird, as if personally crafted for Tweek, when his stale green eyes clash against one’s brilliant blue hues.

At that very moment, Craig couldn’t breathe, let alone think.

As if, he was drawn to Tweek, pulled by a single thread.

 

* * *

 

Whenever Kevin paired two people together - because it's his job - within a matter of hours to a couple of months a series of events follow. For most part, the said couple would often found themselves in the same place. Fate will pull their strings to round the those tied together, and laugh when the pair are forced to interact.

For the half asian child, that is the case. Well for most part. Yes.

However, when Kevin managed to loop a thread between Craig and Tweek, he didn’t expect the pair to fight one another within a matter of days.

“Okay, so, just to set the record straight here, the fight will be happening out by the tether ball pole at 3:30. Tweek just weighed in at 48 pounds, Craig at 45.” Stan provided the given details of the match, towards a sea of students.

Clyde raised his hand, a question in hindsight, “Uh, how long do you expect the fight to last?”

Craig parted his lips, the following words ready to slip. “I uh…”

Before Craig would continue, Cartman proceeded to cut Craig off and answer on his behalf. “However long Craig wants it to last.” The sounds of laughter from other students could be heard, even from Kevin himself. Cartman, who breath and bathe by attention and the limelight, continued. “T'heh, uh. Look, make no mistake. Craig has been ready for this fight since day one. He doesn't even view it as a challenge.”

“He'll view it as a challenge when he's getting his ass kicked!” Kyle counters back, eyes narrowed towards the larger male.

As if scripted, Cartman responds with his own line of insults. “Hup. Did you hear that? It sound like some diarrhea coming out of someone's mouth or something.”

Kyle would scream back, with a, “Shut up, fatass!!” While Cartman, now in raged by Kyle’s words would defend his body structure. The duo would proceed to continue the argument through a series of thrown fists and childish kicks at one another, before Stan and Kenny followed suit. Leaving both Tweek and Craig rather clueless by the turns of the events. Apprehensive stares linger between the two, as if seeking answers among one another.

“Wow. Tweek and Craig really hate each other, huh? This should be a good fight.” Clyde smirked at the sight before them.

Unaware of the forthcoming hardship that ties the two of together.

 

* * *

 

“So if Craig dies does this mean that Tweek is free to be paired with someone else?”

“You really don’t give two fucks if your cousin dies or not?”

“Well he is a dick.” Red whispered, before she lowered her eyes. “And plus, I betted with the girls that Tweek would win.”

“Really? The girls are betting too?”

“Come on, it’s not like you haven’t placed your bet either?” Red scoffed, and Kevin chose to remain silent for a moment.

“Well… maybe a 5 with Jason.”

“Tweek?”

“Nah. My bet is on Craig.”

Red laughed, but pose no distress over the different set of bets. “Well then, may the best boy win.”

Kevin didn’t say anything else and proceeded to cheer, as the fight between Tweek and Craig began.

 

* * *

 

The fight ended with Tweek and Craig in hospital.

Although, even when the troubled students was set to Hell’s Pass, the duo fought one another once again, much to the amusement of the other students that gathered by the ward.

“I think I should cut the thread?” Kevin ponded out loud, when him and Red were ushered out of the building by irked staffs, “At this rate, get your black dress ready because we’re going to be attending your cousin’s and Tweek’s funeral.”

“Oh hush.” Red jabbed back, her arms folded. “They’re doing fine.”

“Even if they make it out alive, I don’t think the parents will be pleased with the hospital bills. Especially Tweek’s dad.”

At this both Red bit her bottom lip, and Kevin fell into an eerily form of silences.

Both were aware of Craig’s and Tweek’s situation at home. Mostly Tweek. His paranoid didn’t leave much to the naked eye to observe. His idle talks expose too much, from his constant jabber about the underwear gnomes and slavery, to his need to fidget, spin a pen, and chug down several cups of black coffee.

At the very least, Craig’s father was a redneck, with expectation of his son to follow suit.

“You think-

“If Tweek is sold to slavery, we’ll just force Craig to save him.”

Kevin nodded, followed by an uneasy. “Yeah.”

Hopefully.

 

* * *

 

The next day Kevin woke up from a nightmare.

Drenched in sweat, his jet black locks clung onto his forehead, and his pajamas felt too hot.

All at once, he left tears begin to pour, his movement stiff but he managed to cup his mouth to muffled his gasping breath.

It hurts, everything _hurts_.

He didn’t want to see Red dying in his arms once again.

 

* * *

 

_"You’re remembering your past.”_

_“My past?”_

_“Your past lives.”_

Kevin found himself seeking advice from his mother, whom was busy preparing breakfast, while Kevin watched on.

_“What did you see?”_

War. Blood. Between a mage who wield great power, and elf king who’s talents is just as equal. In the midst of it all was his wife; Red.

Dying.

_“Everything I've loved crumbled before my eyes.”_

 

* * *

 

“No way! I was a viking!?” Red gasped with mirth, sending an air of jovial glee down the matchmaker’s spine. His face broke into a smile, enough to laugh at the red haired’s reaction.

“Well at least in my dream, you look pretty badass in your armour.” Kevin confirmed with a shrug.

“What about you?” Always one to question the possibilities if given.

“Apparently Esther and I ruled a Kingdom; namely _Sān Guó_.”

“Wait, Esther? As in your second cousin Esther? And a king, wow - didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Emperor, actually.” The boy corrected, “And yeah, Esther out of all people. We’re actually twins in that timeline, and the Kingdom is obsessed with the whole yin and yang conception, so much so, that only future rulers can only be twins.”

“Wait, hold the fuck up. You didn’t marry your twin, being duel rulers and all.”

Kevin choked on his carton of apple juice, eye’s wide followed by a series of coughs. “Red!”

“Hey! The Egyptians married their siblings, so it wouldn’t be off putting if that was the case!”

“Okay first of all, no. I didn’t marry Esther. And two, marriage and bloodline is not important. Bottom line, I can marry anyone I please and my people wouldn’t bat an eyelid.”

“Well I’m sorry your highness. Excess my ignorance.” Red spoke with poise and righteous, as she made her way in front of Kevin and kneed in front of him. As if to beg for his forgiveness. 

Kevin barked a laugh instead, “You’re excuse knight, but seriously please stand - I feel uncomfortable.”

“Alright, alright.” Red giggled, and proceeded to sit next to him as Kevin continue to explain the land of Zaron. The main two kingdoms were Kupa Keep, and Larnion, also known as the Elven Kingdom. Kevin even went into detail about certain people, from Wendy leading for a female only army, Stan; a human knight who served under the elven kingdom, to Tweek; heir to take over the south west tribe.

When asked about Craig, Kevin simply replied back; “A thief. What else?”

“Why am I not surprise Cartman ruled the human kingdom.” Red injected a comment with a sigh once the noirette provided the load down of each and every known person.

“Beside his obsession for power, he knows how to rule a kingdom.” Kevin noted. “We often trade, mainly their seafoods and herbs, for our minerals and spices. That during the time we ruled, we never had any problem with one another. I guess you can say that the two kingdom’s relationship is somewhat diplomatic.”

“Surely you can do better with the elves?”

“We would, but King Kyle - or _Evanuris Kymeil_ \- dislike most humans. Especially those from Kupa Keep. It didn’t help our relationship with Kupa Keep was steady, even when the humans and elves were in war.”

“Evenuris?”

“Elven language.”

“Did you have your own language.”

“Somewhat.” Kevin pondered. “Think of it as this. The chinese language we have today, but only insert it when greeting one another, or goodbyes, maybe other words and given titles.”

“So, your majesty? But in chinese?”

Kevin took pause, and kept narrowed his eyes before replying. “Try _Huángdì Kueng_.”

Red frowned, but parted her lips nevertheless in attempt to slur out the following words.

“Hu-onedi Kueng?”

Wrong, but for a moment there, he felt like he was teleported back to realms of magic. Where he first met Red, who held a limped male by her side, who wore a blue hat and dark clothing. His chocolate gaze however were fixated on another’s silence pleads for his assistants.

“Close, but try hu - won - di.”

“Huwondi?”

“One more time, all together, but faster. _Huángdì Kueng_ ”

Red took a deep breath, and without hesitation, spoke the following request.

“ _Huángdì Kueng-”_

 

* * *

 

“- please help me! Cra- my cousin is dying!”

The emperor shouldn’t have close the door the moment he was greeted to the sight of bright crimson eyes and similar red lust lock. Except, he took pause, before he open the door wider and allowed the pair to enter his palace.

_His home._

 

* * *

 

“Prefect.” Kevin whispered, lips quivered, but forced a smile in its place.

Red however, her energy renewed by the new world pose one more question.

“Were we friends?”

 

* * *

 

Blood.

Red.

She was dying, her body limp, helplessly surrendering oneself into her lover’s arms. Her final words seeped through her pale lips one last time. 

_“I love you Kueng.”_

 

* * *

 

“No.” Kevin lied. “We met once at Token’s and Nichole’s wedding, but never again.”

Everything _hurts_.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 3 months late. I'm sorry.

“Sorry we’re late.” A rather chappy Clyde announced, as he entered through the front door with Red right behind him.

“But we've managed to get a couple of snacks and a bottle of coke if that helps?” Red injected her two cents, her tone several tones lower than the former. When she received no reply, she stepped into the household before making her way into living room.

“I’m here in the kitchen.” Kevin eventually noted his location, and the pair followed the voice.

Upon entering the kitchen, Clyde began to laugh when his gaze caught sight of Kevin closing a bottle of vodka. “Dude, I know that Craig and Tweek are shagging one another in your room, but we don’t need another Stan in a making.”.

Red however, don a sympathetic guise, followed by a firm hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "It’s okay babe.”  She whispers, before the tip of her lips morphed into a uncanny smile. “We’ll just have ‘some fun’ in Craig’s bedroom next week, how about that?”

“Really?” Upon her suggestion, a gleam could be seen in Kevin's golden hues, his tone just as low as his girlfriend, "Knowing Craig, there are a couple of way to ruffle his feathers beside destroying his bed sheets." His girlfriend resisted the urge to break character and chortle at one's proposal, as her hand rolled into a fist, and gave her boyfriend a playful punch on his shoulder, with half lid eyes. 

In what could be perceived as a moment of tranquility and aspiration between the couple, the moment was eventually ruined by no other by Clyde; whom slid into the conversation with a shit eating grin. “I know this is the part where I fuck off, and let you lovebirds fuck one another with your eyes and all. But - uh, I hate to break it to you, but Bebe and I kinda beat you on shagging on Craig’s bed first.” Clyde informed, the atmosphere dampen, and the pair immediately backed away. Kevin rubbed his temples, while Red's expression painted a hint of irk.

"Really Clyde? Really?" The female Tucker mumbled under her breath.  

"Hey-" Clyde smile only widen and raised both hands into the air. "-I'm only stating the facts." 

 

* * *

 

爱不是占有,是欣赏

 

Love is not about possession, it's all about appreciation

 

* * *

 

When Clyde Donovan was nine years old, he became close friends with Kevin. Whom shared his love of RPG games and all six Star War movies. They both agree Princess Lela and Yoda are the best characters within the franchise, whereas Jar Jar Binks can be thrown into the pit of Yavin Prime for all they care. Every Friday the pair would find themselves lounging about in Clyde's bedroom. Either playing video games, or watching an episode of Star Wars. 

“Hey Kevin.”

Today however, Kevin wanted to catch up a comic book, while Clyde decided to boot up his old console, and slide in an old copy of Dragon Age and load up an old save file. 

"Yeah?"

Clyde dragged his character and his chosen three companions throughout the village in search of the town's blacksmith, before continuing the conversation. “What does Red see in you?”

Kevin didn’t reply immediately, his gaze directed at the television screen at first, the prolonged silences foiled as a moment of thought. However fleeting it was. 

“Nothing. We’re just friends.” He eventually replied back, carefully eyeing the brunet beside him. “Why?”

An air of exertion could be heard from the former, followed by an amused smile. “Everyone thinks you two are a thing.” 

Kevin frowned, "Everyone?”

“Well y’know, the girls, some of the guys, even Craig has no idea what Red sees in you.”

At this, the half asian male scoffed, a habit he has long picked up from Red. “I can assure you my dear companion, that our relationship is purely platonic. As it has been since the very beginning.”

“Kevin, dude, please.” Clyde smile widen, the game now on pause. “The guys envy you, and when I meant the guys, even some of the sixth graders. You hang out with one of the hottest chick in our grade." He paused. "Well right after Bebe, and you don’t even want to be more than friends?”

“Red and Bebe aren't the only popular girls in our grade." The other male eyebrows burrowed their way down. "There is also Heidi, Lola, Annie and- what about Stan? He has Wendy?”

Clyde barked a laugh, fortunately the controller was our of arms reach. “Dude, everyone knows not to touch Wendy or Stan. Like they’re meant to be, even though they’re broken up several times already.”

“Let’s not forget that Token and Wendy were a thing.” Kevin added. 

“Oh dude. I'm telling ya, Token and Wendy being an item was a weird period. Craig, Jimmy and I couldn’t even set foot in Token's house.” Followed by a chortle from the brunet. 

“Really?”

“Yep. Something about being in love and what not.” 

“Ugh.”

Clyde simply shrugged his shoulders, while Kevin's expression devoid into irk. 

“Okay but back to topic, _sooooooooooooooooooooo_ , you and Miss Rebecca?”

Kevin sighed, as childlike fingers finally close the comic book, and pushed it aside. His golden hues clash against one's curious navy blue eyes, somewhat unsure how to addressed the situation at hand. For a moment he fumbled with his words, broke eye contact several times, and allowed his blunt finger nails to pull the loose threads on his favourite sweatpants. However if there was one thing Kevin has learnt today, is Clyde's propensity to anticipate and dawdle, can be considered incomparable to most of the students in their grade. While most demands answers with a click of a finger, Clyde is willing to wait to through due to his stubborn like nature. He would allow himself to drone on and allow the answer come forth in due time. That, or guilt takes it's place. 

For the noirette, it was the latter. 

“I’ve thought about it…” Kevin confessed, never one to lie. Despite Clyde's inability to keep his mouth shut for most part. Or retains another's deepest secrets. “But, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m in any rush to get in a relationship. Plus she’s been… busy.”

“Busy?” Clyde inquired, his smile flatter.

“Busy.” 

“Busy with what?”

“I'm not too sure." The asian student admitted with an overdue sigh. "From what Red told me, the girls runs an all girls club.”

“Holy shit, really?.” Kevin nodded, and Clyde gasped. “How do we get in?”

“If I knew everyone else would've be inside the club already. That, or we're already dead. Beside, Red and I haven’t been hanging out as much, she does her own thing, and I-”

“But you like her right?” The brunet cut his friend's ramble with a solemn tone. 

"Excuse me?” 

“But you like Red?”

“Well, I-” Kevin stumbled on his words, his cheeks gathering colour.

“Okay allow me to rephrase. Do you wanna go dates with her? Hang out with her in private without question, maybe even hold her hand while you whisper sweet nothing with her.”

Oh god, yes. Kevin wanted to scream, but instead gave jagged breaths in return. Clyde smirked when Kevin's cheeks began to bloom several shades darker. At this, Clyde lowered his voice, almost sonorous. “So what's keeping you?”

Trepidation riddles through Kevin's spine, his gaze on the floor unable to make eye contact. Let alone speak normally, as the following answer came through harsh whispers.

" _Everything_."

 

* * *

  

It's rare to see Red pacing back and forth in her bedroom, especially when the intentions are to stall and listen to her cousin complain through the cell phone. 

“You know you could get both the play station 4 and the xbox one, why divide the group and force the boys to make a choice between the two consoles?” Red suggested, as she flopped back on her bed and kicked off her snow boots. 

An audible groan could be heard from the other side, as Craig countered back. “You don’t get it Red, the ps4 has more games, while the xbox one outstanding capability is within the frame rate. Even so the ps4 surpasses everything else.”

“Alright nerd, I deal with one daily, there is no need inform me. Honestly, like you - I am hyped for the new consoles, but for what? To play The Last Guardian? Or Infamous son? Just exclusive games?”

“It’s more about the games at this point.”

“Uh huh. Look Craig, I still don't think it's worth fighting over, especially if it revolves Black Friday. People have died just for these stupid deals.”

"You and Tricia spent hours in the mall last Black Friday, because you went to all four corners of the mall, as I quote 'there are no better deal than now' from yours truly." Craig noted, followed by a grunt. "Also to this day we're not sure if Tricia punched an innocence bystander or not, because as I quote again, 'the final skinny white jeans.'" 

Red felt her jaw clenched, vivid flashbacks of the previous year flooded her mind. Especially the younger Tucker rolling her hand into a fist, then threw an upper cut towards a certain sixth grader, whom wanted the same pair of jeans that Red originally eyed.

“Touche."

"Look, I'm not asking for much, but if you can try to convince the girls to join the ps4 side. That is all I'm asking. It's bad enough the xbox one army is growing by the day.”

“I’ll try, but look lover boy- “ She heard Craig groan on the other side of the call. “- most of the girls don’t give a fuck about the ps4. It’s pretty much the same as the ps3 and dare I say that the ps2 is still relevant to this day. Basically, at this point in time, you dorky, geeky, nerds have officially started a new console war. For the next eight years you guys are going to see which expensive black box that can effectively tea-bagged one another in the next Call of Battlefield 9."

“Call of Battlefield 9? Really Red?”

“Also I only want the new persona game, which is still coming to the ps3 so... your loss really.”

Red’s argument was meant with a pause, before Red smirked when she heard shuffling on the other side.

“Craig, I know you’re flipping off the phone.”

Craig placed the phone beside his ear once again, and muttered under his breath. “Just ask the girls to join the ps4 side.”

“No promises, but I’ll see what I can do lover boy.”

Both hanged up without sending one another off. Nevertheless Red felt a triumph smile take form, as she made her way to the television and turned on her console. Mass Effect, a personal favourite of hers, awaited her presences - along with a certain humanoid alien. 

 

* * *

 

As a lunar matchmaker in the twenty first century, you were taught to read and observe the complexity of human emotions from a fairly young age. At least for Kevin, he was taught love and all it's form.

Although for most part, Kevin could be seen a rather dense person. His passion and humble desires to tailgates the world of space opera and galactic war, is the highlight for many science fiction fanatics like Kevin. Although his stances in the genre are more or less meant with much criticism, especially with his male classmates. It has become a common sight for those like Cartman to pause, narrow his sights before exasperating the following, “Kevin goddammit.” As a given moment in time, once again has been ruined by no other than Kevin. 

So much so, even the girls are aware the phrase Much to Red's amusements. 

Of course, there is much more than meets the eye. In the comfort of his own home, and not being a fanboy, Kevin could be seen in the kitchen stalling between an apple or a pear. He’s obsess with fruits, as the child is always seen with one in the morning, another in the evening. Growing up with a chinese mother, and an english father - Kevin was brought up in a bilingual household, being able to speak both english and near perfect mandarin. Despite living in South Park, where a majority of the people are Christian, or practice similar faiths. Like the Broflovski's family, whom are Jewish. Kevin's family philosophy in life is through Buddhism.

Hence why Kevin expected a visitor today, when the doorbell rang, Kevin - alone on the weekend - open the door to found Tweek on the other side.

“Come in, my parents are not home.” Kevin gestured the blond haired inside his home and headed towards the kitchen. Tweek nodded and followed the noirette, until they sat on the dining table. There was a bowl of fruit, in which stood in the middle of the table, a chinese tea set which had been used from an earlier time.

"Do you want tea? Or would you prefer coffee?" Kevin asked, upon one's lingering glance on the tea set.

Tweek didn’t know how to answer, as his signature grunts and jerk like moments took centre stage. 

Should he go for tea, as the obvious choice? His spahhire orbs took note of household. It's not much different than from other homes in South Park, although it's rather clear the moment the twitchy blond stepped into the Kevin's kitchen, the sole child lives and breaths through brewed herbs and boiled water. Mixed all together in a traditional tea pot, then served in a two inch tea bowl. Tweek has only chinese food twice. Let alone eaten out. What’s the point of going out, when your parents owns a cafe? Or that is what his father said.

The anxious child knew he could always resort to his precious cup of joe, but from past experiences alone, nothing taste better than his own home brewed cup of coffee. Not even his parent’s coffee could even compare. He has attempted to make coffee in several household, from Stan’s to Clyde’s. However only Token’s home has met his expectations. He suspects Token's father is an avid coffee lover like Tweek, especially when the older male is rather fond of his Hawaiian coffee beans, whiles had openly expressed several degrees of distaste of the local cafe's beverage followed by a "no offence." In which Tweek replied back with a, "none taken."

“Or maybe both?” Kevin suggested, after a period of silences. Only to be met by another twitch, while a reluctant 'yes' eventually seeped through one's tender lips.

Once the tea has been brewed and the a cup of coffee was made - with no sugar whatsoever, much to Kevin’s bewilderment - the two fell into a comfortable form of silences as Tweek consumed the hot beverage. 

Tweek had to restraint himself, the moment the liquid made first contact. As expected, the coffee tasted gross. Too watery and not enough kick. Basically, it tasted like shit. Nevertheless, Tweek wasn’t here for coffee, and surely Kevin wasn’t planning to serve him lunch either. His signature grunts and jarring movement began to slowed, and thoughts began to take place instead.

"So um." Kevin began, unsure how to kick the conversation off. "What brings you in today?" 

Hopefully it's not about the red thread. Not that Tweek can actually see it, but still, Kevin was not ready to explain his lunar like abilities to anyone else. 

“Do you - _ngh_ \- practice Buddhism?” Tweek questioned.

The age old question, Kevin mused. It’s expected, especially when growing up in a redneck mountain town, you stood out if you hold different views. 

“ _Ark_! You don't have to answer if it's - _nrgh_ \- too personal."

And personally, Kevin wasn't sure if it was. Instead he decided to ignore his previous statement and answer the topic on hand, "My alignment is a strenuous topic." Kevin started, as he set the cup down. "I grew up with knowledge and tales passed from my mother and grandparents. Does it make me a believer, yes, but one who implements Buddhism almost exclusive to my daily life? Then my answer is no. However I believe this is not the answer you're looking for?" 

Tweek nodded, and the noirnette took that as a sign to continue.

"I'm a believer of the teaching and the philosophy of buddhism."

A fleeting moment of silences hang in the air. Kevin decided to ask Tweek one more question.

"Do you wish to learn more about Buddhism?"

His question was meant with another grunt, and shaky eyes, before Tweek allowed himself to heel another's word and become his pupil.

"Is it true you can - _ugh_ \- find Nirvana through Buddhism?"

Oh boy. This will be a long explanation.

 

* * *

 

" _So that's his name?_ " A young female voice spoke through the phone, trailing behind her was a suitcase. " _Yeah, I'll be fine, I'll be living near Auntie, she's the best!_ "

She took paused, to adjust her glasses, before resuming her travels. 

" _He only made two connections, one between Testaburger, Wendy and Marsh, Stan... another with Tucker, Craig and Tweak, Tweek, where according to records they've yet to make contact."_

The voice on the other side of the phone continued to speak, and the girl frowned. " _You know he won't do anything, he's too passive. We must take action!_ " Another pause. " _I know... they need time, but-_ "

The voice interrupted her, rather stern this time and the girl sighed over the phone.

" _Okay, on your mark._ "

She turned off her phone, and stepped onto a porch, where her tiny fist made contact with the door, tapping onto the wooden surface several times. 

It took less than a minute for the door to open, where was greeted by no other than Wendy on the other side. 

"Hello, you must you be Kelly Zhou correct? I'm Wendy Testaburger, welcome to South Park." 


End file.
